Happy Tuesday Everyone!
Well school is only 2 weeks away and like most parents out there, I am one excited puppy! Taylor has been so bored, and as she is starting the 3rd grade, she is an old pro at this. Dylan is less enthusiastic. He is a very theatrical little guy, and of course he is putting all his skills to good use. "No one will like me"..."The teacher will yell at me"... and my favorite "They'll lock me in a cage." I just hope that last statement isn't some kind of foreshadowing I need to worry about.
Dylan is sick today. He had a very busy weekend and when he pushes it too hard and doesn't get enough sleep, we have days like today. I truly don't think there is anything worse than when your kids are sick. He looks so small. He'll be fine after he gets more sleep, but it is still not fun.
Well as you can all tell by my profile picture, I have a weight problem. It is something I am working on, but haven't made any progress. I thought I had been heavy all my life, but I recently found a picture of when I was in college, and I wasn't heavy then. Mind you I wasn't one of those stick figured, I had a grape and now I'm full, kind of girls, but I wasn't anywhere near where I am now.
But you see, it ultimately wasn't me telling me I was fat, it was the voice of someone I trusted. My mother. I haven't had a relationship with my parents in almost 8 years now. It is a long story that I will explain at a later time, but I have come to a realization, in trying to figure out my screwed up relationship with my parents. I realize that my weight has been a way of saying to her "Oh yeah, you think I'm fat now. Just you wait and see." She told me she was embarrassed to be seen with me, because of my weight. And that was 70lbs ago. I am so tired of having her voice in my head. I think I am finally ready to stop caring about what they thought or think of me. I have to care what I think of me. I've spent 35 years trying to make other people happy. I need to make myself happy.
It is about to rain here. Thus the major introspection. But I love the rain. Everything gets a chance to come clean. I think that is needed every once in a while. Don't you?
Tuesday Morning
Posted by taylansmommy at 10:17 AM
1 Comment:
I can help you if you are willing to make a few sacrifices. It will be hard, but it really does work if you like to eat protein. The secret is all in the carbs/refined sugars that you eat and at what time of day. The key is to eat them only in the morning at breakfast, and then protein, fruit and veggies the rest of the day. You can do this!
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