It's been awhile

AM Weight....255

Well this last week has brought about a lot of things, but mainly sickness and frustration. Chuck and I were both sick, and I am frustrated with a way to bring in a little extra money each month.

As I am sure so many families in America have done, we have cut ourselves to the bone and are still scraping by. We are trying to plan a vacation to Disneyland next March, so Chuck is trying to work extra for that. It is so important to me that we go. When I say that we have cut things out I mean, amputation. There are no dinners out. Maybe once every other week I rent a game from blockbuster for the kids. We don't buy anything except groceries and pay for the monthly bills. This trip is what we are all looking forward. It is what we tell ourselves we are struggling for, so that we can make these memories and be together without worries and escape as a family for a week. The trip we took this year did wonders for us. It was the closest we had felt in so long. I just want to find a way to bring in about $300 a month. That way I would take the pressure off of Chuck. Because of our circumstances, my opportunities are pretty non existent. I have had to resort to the click and pay web sites, where in the past two days I've made $7.00. Let me tell you that does a lot for the ego.

Then to to things off, I went to the store to get some milk, and left Chuck and the kids here. I had been working on knitting a shawl as a Christmas gift, and left it on the couch. When I came home, there was a knot of yarn on the floor and no one seemed to notice it until I brought it to their attention. Apparently Dylan wanted a whip, so he just grabbed my yarn and started to pull. ( I won't get into the fact that he decided to cut his hair at school today and picture day is tomorrow) Chuck and Taylor both said, " I'm sorry, I didn't notice he was doing it. So today I am feeling low and pretty unappreciated. I know that it is a faze, one that won't last, but I just am getting so tired of feeling like I need to grin and understand and just keep trudging along, while crap keep getting piles on. Just once I would love for things to go smoothly.

Hey well at least I haven't gained any of my weight back....That's something, right?

Monday, September 29, 2008

Back on Track

AM Weight: 255

Well I'm feeling better. Lets just leave it at that shall we. That happens to me often and I hate it. Hopefully that is something that will resolve itself as I continue on this road.

I get to go grocery shopping today and finally I will get to get what I want to eat. I've hated looking in the cabinets and saying "Well this is the worse of the evils in here." I can actually eat right. Yeah!!!!!

Can I just say that I am loving this weather. I've always been a fall/winter girl. I love the colors and the ability to decorate your house for all the different holidays. And just the promise of snow in the future, makes me happy. It is why I love living in Oregon!

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Having a little set back

AM Weight: 257

Well I haven't' kept up with the blog like I've should. I'll do better next week. Trying to get my routine down.

Well I am doing much better with my water intake, and I am looking forward to going grocery shopping tomorrow and being able to buy food that I can actually eat without feeling like I am shooting myself in the foot. My main problem right now is....well to put it in the least offensive way possible, my body is backed up. It has been for about a week now, so I just feel bloated and out of sorts. I went to the store to get something to help relieve the problem. Hopefully by tomorrow, I'll be stepping a little lighter in my shoes. I have been drinking water like crazy and eating salad by the plateful, so this is a little frustrating, but not anything I can't manage. I will not be derailed!

I hope that everyone has a great weekend and I look forward to continuing my journey!

Friday, September 19, 2008

Getting this down!

AM Weight: 256

Well I must say that it is exciting to see scale needle inch farther away from where I started. I can feel things changing. I am drinking more water, and I am starting to settle into a schedule. Last night we had Salmon and a salad for dinner and it tasted so good. Chuck wasn't home, which is why we were able to have salmon. The kids really enjoyed it too. I must admit though, I am looking forward to being able to go and do some real grocery shopping, so I can get the right kind of food. I am a person who needs variety, and that is sorely lacking in the cabinets these days.

We will find out the results of Dylan's ultrasound today,and what course we needs to take from here. Hopefully, it will be something that is not too drastic and it can be fixed. I am just trying to think positively.

Well off the get the kids to school. Then on to move, drink and change!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Happy Birthday to Me!

AM Weight 259

The past few days have been kind of a blur. I had a really off day yesterday, but it was my birthday, so I think I deserve a little break. I got to spend it with my favorite people in the whole world. My husband, children, and my "Mom" and two "Dads". I am one lucky woman. When I married Chuck, I was adopted, if you will, by his Mom, Dad and Step Dad. They are wonderful people, who love and encourage me as if I was their own.

One of my favorite memories is, after a car accident last years, I was in the emergency room, waiting for the doctor. The doors to the main hall way opened up, and there standing in front of the door were my men. Chuck was in the middle, Andy, his Step father, was on his right and Bob his Dad, was on his left. They have all helped me so much to find my inner strength and worth and I feel blessed everyday to have them in my life. The three of them came into my life when I need them most and I am so grateful.

I got my blood work back from the doctor. All was normal accept that my triglycerides were way too high and my ldl was way too low. So I am going to be working on that now too. Hopefully, changing my diet and moving habits will help with that.

Well off to clean the house and get the next 36 years of my life started!

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Day 9 and still going strong!

A M Weight: 258

After a week away, Chuck finally made it home. He left again this morning and will be back in time for my birthday on Saturday. He is working so hard, and we are still scraping by.

My eating choice aren't what I want them to be yet. We only had $120 for groceries for two weeks for a family of four, so a lot of the preferred stuff had to be dropped of the menu for now. I do eat salad though. Lots of salad. Now that things are starting to calm down a little and a schedule can be set, I am looking forward to some normalcy.

Well I'm off to clean the house and get the kids to the bus. I swear that the days that Chuck are home this place looks like a tornado went through. But let me tell you I'll take that tornado anyday!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

The New Me Day 7

A M Weight: 259

Good morning! I was so happy this morning to see the scale below 260 for the first time in a long time. Things are going well as far as my willpower are concerned, but it is still really early in the game and I have a long way to go. Life around here will be crazy until Thursday, and then my real routine can begin.

Well I just put both kids on the bus for the first time. Taylor, being an old pro, jumped on and went to her seat. Dylan looked so small. His lime green and black backpack, which is almost as big as he is, took up my view as he ascended the stairs. The bus driver directed him to a seat in the front and I watched for any spark of fear in his eyes. When his face turned, there was no fear, just excitement. He didn't look towards me, just grinned, ear to ear, at the other children surrounding him. Taylor has always been confidant in herself, but there is still this shyness that has been under the surface. Dylan has confidence seeping out of his pours. He is who he is and fear has never seemed to been a factor. I am so proud of both of them.

Chuck has been gone since Wednesday. Working. I miss him so much I ache. I finally get to go pick him up tomorrow, but it is only for one day and then he his gone again for two. It hardly seems right to me that someone who saves people's lives for a living has to kill themselves to make ends meet. He sees things and does things that I can't even imagine. And I love him for it and thank God everyday for giving my the gift that is him.

Well I'm off the enjoy my quiet house and clean so that I can finally keep ahead of the fray. Be back tomorrow and hopefully I've said goodbye to 260 forever!!!!!!

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

The New Me Day 6

A M Weight: 260

Well this weekend was kind of crazy and I didn't have anytime to update the blog. Things are going pretty well. We have had a small health problem with Dylan that I'm waiting to hear back on, and both kids are now in school. I was sad to leave Dylan today at school, but happy for him and for me. It will be great for him to make friends and be in school, and it was nice to have 3 hours today to just do what I needed without interruptions.

The changing seasons is so apparent today. It is hot, but the light is just different. I love the fall. the colors, and all the holidays are starting. Yeah for fall!!!!!

Monday, September 8, 2008

The New Me Day 3

Weight in the AM: 260

Well yesterday went pretty well. We had a lot of stress with Dylan's ultrasound and results, but I didn't eat my way through the night. I get to go shopping today and get the "right" foods in the house. Well as much as the money will stretch that is.

Dylan starts school on Monday, so my exercise schedule will start then. I still need to drink more water though. Even if no one reads this, it is nice to feel like I am not in this alone. And who know maybe I can help someone else feel the same way!

Friday, September 5, 2008

Movie Recommendations of the Week

Here are my movie recommendations of the week:

All Ages:

"National Velvet"
1944

This movie is such an inspirational film, especially if you have daughters. It shows that the only limitations in live are the ones you set on yourself. Elizabeth Taylor is adorable and you are rooting for her right along with Mickey Rooney.

Ages 10+:

"The Bad News Bears"
1976

Walter Matthau, Tatum O'Neal and Jackie Earle Haley star this classic comedy that is a must see for any child or parent involved in sports. It is very funny. The children in the film do use some profanity and there are a few racial slurs, but depending on your personal household, most kids 10 + can handle it. The Coach also drinks, but it is not glamorized at all.

Ages 15+:

"The Fog"
1980

It is getting that time of year when I am in the mood for a scary movie, and this John Carpenter film is just the thing. Don't watch the remake, and if you already have, erase is from your mind. The original is creepy and it is from a horror master. You will never go out into a foggy morning again without wondering, "What's in the fog?"

Adults:

"Pan's Labyrinth"
2006

The fantasy elements of this beautifully frightening film are not the scariest part, but the brutality of the human villain that gives you chills. Through fantasy, director Guillermo del Toro, tries to give reason to war and the death of innocence. Watch this with the subtitle, not dubbed. You would do it an inservice to watch the dubbed version. Beautiful, frightening and leaves you hoping that maybe there is a point to the unimaginable pain and violence in the world and that it is not just evil and pointless.

I hope that you enjoy them.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

The New Me Day 2

AM weight 260.

Yesterday went pretty well. I kept myself busy. That is a big thing for me. If I have a project, something to do, I don't snack. I do need to drink more water. I had too much soda yesterday. Diet of course, but still too much.

Dylan did so well yesterday at his assessment to start school. He is above grade level in all skills except his coordination. My fault I guess because he is a lefty and I had no idea how to teach him things like using scissors and writing. He will catch on quick though.

Taylor's first day of school went great. She loves her new teacher. I met him and he seems really nice and great with the kids.

This is a stressful day today though, I have to take Dylan into the hospital for an ultrasound. When I took him in for his physical, the doctor couldn't find one of his testicles. Hopefully it is just hiding somewhere, but he might have to have surgery. So please any who read, sent happy thoughts and prayers our way. I really appreciate it.

Talk to you all later.

The New Me Day 1

Well here we go. Day one of changing my life. Here are my honest facts:

Weight this A.M. 263lbs

My goal is to eventually be half of this weight. I am starting a new eating plan, thank you Raquel, but it can't start until the end of the week, due to bank account restrictions. So for now, I will just limit my calories and start to move.

Dylan starts school on Monday, so my exercise routine will start then also. This week I am focusing on finishing up a few project and then I can concentrate on the project that is ME!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Start of Something Good!

Hello all!

Well here we are, another summer has come to a close. Taylor starts school tomorrow and Dylan on Monday. I am ready for a change in my life. I went to the doctor today and talked about getting started on a weight loss plan. He tells me I qualify for weight loss surgery, but that is an avenue of last resort. So I will be documenting my progress on this blog. I need to be accountable to someone other than myself. And I need your help.

Every morning I will post my weight for that morning and I'll tell you how things are going during the day. Join me, if you like and comment on your progress and mine. I would love feedback and will need the encouragement. I look forward to being released from all the weight I have been carrying for far too long. I will not spend another year feeling this way! This is the best birthday present I could give myself.

Thanks in advance for any help you can throw my way!

Tuesday, September 2, 2008