AM Weight 250
This was kind of a rocky weekend. I was so excited to step on the scale and see progress, but that seems to be the only part of my life that is moving forward.
We've had to delay our vacation planned for March to next October. And while logically I know that this is the best decision, I was crushed. I love the fact that I am a stay at home mom, but one day seems to run into the next. I have been able to justify not doing things, not going places, because the trip was coming up and it was only 5 months away. Now to add another 7 months to that, well my stiff upper lip began to droop. The kids were able to handle it so much better than I was, which made me feel completely like an idiot. So I guess that I just have to find another focus. Something that will make to monotony of this life of mine go by a little faster.
So it is Monday and today I am feeling better. My lip has been freshly starched and I am ready to go.
15 pounds down and 115 to go......
Finally Broke Through
AM Weight: 252
Hello all. I'm sorry that I haven't updated in awhile. I was at a stand still and I didn't have much to say. I finally have broken through again and am back on the road to shrinking.
Things here have been the same. Not much different in my world. The kids have been home since Wednesday and Chuck has been gone since Thursday, so, like I said, just another typical week in the Funrue household.
I'll hopefully have more to share as the pound keep dropping off. By the way. I weigh less now than I have in almost 2 years. That's saying something I guess. I'm gonna keep on keepin on!
Friday, October 10, 2008
It's been awhile
AM Weight....255
Well this last week has brought about a lot of things, but mainly sickness and frustration. Chuck and I were both sick, and I am frustrated with a way to bring in a little extra money each month.
As I am sure so many families in America have done, we have cut ourselves to the bone and are still scraping by. We are trying to plan a vacation to Disneyland next March, so Chuck is trying to work extra for that. It is so important to me that we go. When I say that we have cut things out I mean, amputation. There are no dinners out. Maybe once every other week I rent a game from blockbuster for the kids. We don't buy anything except groceries and pay for the monthly bills. This trip is what we are all looking forward. It is what we tell ourselves we are struggling for, so that we can make these memories and be together without worries and escape as a family for a week. The trip we took this year did wonders for us. It was the closest we had felt in so long. I just want to find a way to bring in about $300 a month. That way I would take the pressure off of Chuck. Because of our circumstances, my opportunities are pretty non existent. I have had to resort to the click and pay web sites, where in the past two days I've made $7.00. Let me tell you that does a lot for the ego.
Then to to things off, I went to the store to get some milk, and left Chuck and the kids here. I had been working on knitting a shawl as a Christmas gift, and left it on the couch. When I came home, there was a knot of yarn on the floor and no one seemed to notice it until I brought it to their attention. Apparently Dylan wanted a whip, so he just grabbed my yarn and started to pull. ( I won't get into the fact that he decided to cut his hair at school today and picture day is tomorrow) Chuck and Taylor both said, " I'm sorry, I didn't notice he was doing it. So today I am feeling low and pretty unappreciated. I know that it is a faze, one that won't last, but I just am getting so tired of feeling like I need to grin and understand and just keep trudging along, while crap keep getting piles on. Just once I would love for things to go smoothly.
Hey well at least I haven't gained any of my weight back....That's something, right?
Monday, September 29, 2008
Back on Track
AM Weight: 255
Well I'm feeling better. Lets just leave it at that shall we. That happens to me often and I hate it. Hopefully that is something that will resolve itself as I continue on this road.
I get to go grocery shopping today and finally I will get to get what I want to eat. I've hated looking in the cabinets and saying "Well this is the worse of the evils in here." I can actually eat right. Yeah!!!!!
Can I just say that I am loving this weather. I've always been a fall/winter girl. I love the colors and the ability to decorate your house for all the different holidays. And just the promise of snow in the future, makes me happy. It is why I love living in Oregon!
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Having a little set back
AM Weight: 257
Well I haven't' kept up with the blog like I've should. I'll do better next week. Trying to get my routine down.
Well I am doing much better with my water intake, and I am looking forward to going grocery shopping tomorrow and being able to buy food that I can actually eat without feeling like I am shooting myself in the foot. My main problem right now is....well to put it in the least offensive way possible, my body is backed up. It has been for about a week now, so I just feel bloated and out of sorts. I went to the store to get something to help relieve the problem. Hopefully by tomorrow, I'll be stepping a little lighter in my shoes. I have been drinking water like crazy and eating salad by the plateful, so this is a little frustrating, but not anything I can't manage. I will not be derailed!
I hope that everyone has a great weekend and I look forward to continuing my journey!
Friday, September 19, 2008
Getting this down!
AM Weight: 256
Well I must say that it is exciting to see scale needle inch farther away from where I started. I can feel things changing. I am drinking more water, and I am starting to settle into a schedule. Last night we had Salmon and a salad for dinner and it tasted so good. Chuck wasn't home, which is why we were able to have salmon. The kids really enjoyed it too. I must admit though, I am looking forward to being able to go and do some real grocery shopping, so I can get the right kind of food. I am a person who needs variety, and that is sorely lacking in the cabinets these days.
We will find out the results of Dylan's ultrasound today,and what course we needs to take from here. Hopefully, it will be something that is not too drastic and it can be fixed. I am just trying to think positively.
Well off the get the kids to school. Then on to move, drink and change!
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Happy Birthday to Me!
AM Weight 259
The past few days have been kind of a blur. I had a really off day yesterday, but it was my birthday, so I think I deserve a little break. I got to spend it with my favorite people in the whole world. My husband, children, and my "Mom" and two "Dads". I am one lucky woman. When I married Chuck, I was adopted, if you will, by his Mom, Dad and Step Dad. They are wonderful people, who love and encourage me as if I was their own.
One of my favorite memories is, after a car accident last years, I was in the emergency room, waiting for the doctor. The doors to the main hall way opened up, and there standing in front of the door were my men. Chuck was in the middle, Andy, his Step father, was on his right and Bob his Dad, was on his left. They have all helped me so much to find my inner strength and worth and I feel blessed everyday to have them in my life. The three of them came into my life when I need them most and I am so grateful.
I got my blood work back from the doctor. All was normal accept that my triglycerides were way too high and my ldl was way too low. So I am going to be working on that now too. Hopefully, changing my diet and moving habits will help with that.
Well off to clean the house and get the next 36 years of my life started!
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Day 9 and still going strong!
A M Weight: 258
After a week away, Chuck finally made it home. He left again this morning and will be back in time for my birthday on Saturday. He is working so hard, and we are still scraping by.
My eating choice aren't what I want them to be yet. We only had $120 for groceries for two weeks for a family of four, so a lot of the preferred stuff had to be dropped of the menu for now. I do eat salad though. Lots of salad. Now that things are starting to calm down a little and a schedule can be set, I am looking forward to some normalcy.
Well I'm off to clean the house and get the kids to the bus. I swear that the days that Chuck are home this place looks like a tornado went through. But let me tell you I'll take that tornado anyday!
Thursday, September 11, 2008
The New Me Day 7
A M Weight: 259
Good morning! I was so happy this morning to see the scale below 260 for the first time in a long time. Things are going well as far as my willpower are concerned, but it is still really early in the game and I have a long way to go. Life around here will be crazy until Thursday, and then my real routine can begin.
Well I just put both kids on the bus for the first time. Taylor, being an old pro, jumped on and went to her seat. Dylan looked so small. His lime green and black backpack, which is almost as big as he is, took up my view as he ascended the stairs. The bus driver directed him to a seat in the front and I watched for any spark of fear in his eyes. When his face turned, there was no fear, just excitement. He didn't look towards me, just grinned, ear to ear, at the other children surrounding him. Taylor has always been confidant in herself, but there is still this shyness that has been under the surface. Dylan has confidence seeping out of his pours. He is who he is and fear has never seemed to been a factor. I am so proud of both of them.
Chuck has been gone since Wednesday. Working. I miss him so much I ache. I finally get to go pick him up tomorrow, but it is only for one day and then he his gone again for two. It hardly seems right to me that someone who saves people's lives for a living has to kill themselves to make ends meet. He sees things and does things that I can't even imagine. And I love him for it and thank God everyday for giving my the gift that is him.
Well I'm off the enjoy my quiet house and clean so that I can finally keep ahead of the fray. Be back tomorrow and hopefully I've said goodbye to 260 forever!!!!!!
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
The New Me Day 6
A M Weight: 260
Well this weekend was kind of crazy and I didn't have anytime to update the blog. Things are going pretty well. We have had a small health problem with Dylan that I'm waiting to hear back on, and both kids are now in school. I was sad to leave Dylan today at school, but happy for him and for me. It will be great for him to make friends and be in school, and it was nice to have 3 hours today to just do what I needed without interruptions.
The changing seasons is so apparent today. It is hot, but the light is just different. I love the fall. the colors, and all the holidays are starting. Yeah for fall!!!!!
Monday, September 8, 2008
The New Me Day 3
Weight in the AM: 260
Well yesterday went pretty well. We had a lot of stress with Dylan's ultrasound and results, but I didn't eat my way through the night. I get to go shopping today and get the "right" foods in the house. Well as much as the money will stretch that is.
Dylan starts school on Monday, so my exercise schedule will start then. I still need to drink more water though. Even if no one reads this, it is nice to feel like I am not in this alone. And who know maybe I can help someone else feel the same way!
Friday, September 5, 2008
Movie Recommendations of the Week
Here are my movie recommendations of the week:
All Ages:
1944
Ages 10+:
1976
Ages 15+:
1980
Adults:
2006
I hope that you enjoy them.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
The New Me Day 2
AM weight 260.
Yesterday went pretty well. I kept myself busy. That is a big thing for me. If I have a project, something to do, I don't snack. I do need to drink more water. I had too much soda yesterday. Diet of course, but still too much.
Dylan did so well yesterday at his assessment to start school. He is above grade level in all skills except his coordination. My fault I guess because he is a lefty and I had no idea how to teach him things like using scissors and writing. He will catch on quick though.
Taylor's first day of school went great. She loves her new teacher. I met him and he seems really nice and great with the kids.
This is a stressful day today though, I have to take Dylan into the hospital for an ultrasound. When I took him in for his physical, the doctor couldn't find one of his testicles. Hopefully it is just hiding somewhere, but he might have to have surgery. So please any who read, sent happy thoughts and prayers our way. I really appreciate it.
Talk to you all later.
The New Me Day 1
Well here we go. Day one of changing my life. Here are my honest facts:
Weight this A.M. 263lbs
My goal is to eventually be half of this weight. I am starting a new eating plan, thank you Raquel, but it can't start until the end of the week, due to bank account restrictions. So for now, I will just limit my calories and start to move.
Dylan starts school on Monday, so my exercise routine will start then also. This week I am focusing on finishing up a few project and then I can concentrate on the project that is ME!
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Start of Something Good!
Hello all!
Well here we are, another summer has come to a close. Taylor starts school tomorrow and Dylan on Monday. I am ready for a change in my life. I went to the doctor today and talked about getting started on a weight loss plan. He tells me I qualify for weight loss surgery, but that is an avenue of last resort. So I will be documenting my progress on this blog. I need to be accountable to someone other than myself. And I need your help.
Every morning I will post my weight for that morning and I'll tell you how things are going during the day. Join me, if you like and comment on your progress and mine. I would love feedback and will need the encouragement. I look forward to being released from all the weight I have been carrying for far too long. I will not spend another year feeling this way! This is the best birthday present I could give myself.
Thanks in advance for any help you can throw my way!
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Movie Recommendation of the Week
Hello there to all who are reading this (all two of you!)
Here are my movie recommendations of the week
All ages:
2005
Ages 10+:
1985
Ages 15+:
1985
1958
Thursday, August 28, 2008
The Joys of Home Improvement
As human beings we are always trying to improve our surroundings. But it is also in the natural order that things seem to get worse before they get better. Well I am living the worse part right now.
Let's get carpeting we said. Foolish, foolish people. Up until yesterday, we had ceramic tile in the main areas of our home. Because it is a manufactured home, it had settled over the years and tiles had become loose and started to break. So the wheels were put into motion to change the ground that we walked on. Being tired of broken glasses and picture frames, we opted for carpeting.
The contractor arrived yesterday to take out the tiles, grout and backer board. First thing to make me think that I was at the off ramp for the road to hell, the contractor didn't exactly show up on his own. He was supposed to be here at 9:00. When no one had arrived by 11:00 I called, just to make sure that I hadn't heard the dates wrong. When I talked to the receptionist she told me I was mistaken. They weren't scheduled to come until later in the week. She then went to double check her schedule. I stood in my empty living room. Looking into my empty family room and then to all our furniture piled in the dining room and kitchen. She returned to the phone and all she kept saying is "I'm so sorry." Apparently she had looked at the wrong week and sent our contractor away because she thought he didn't have any work. 11:30, our contractor was at our door, tools in hand. Chuck had to work, so it was the kids and I, confined to our bedroom all day. It took him about 4 hours to remove the tiles and then the trouble began. Apparently the people who lived here before us did the tile installation themselves. Instead of the normal number of nails, they put nails every 4-6 inches through the backer board and then an unusual amount of grout under the tiles. By 5:00, our contractor's son arrived with a friend to help. I really didn't know what was going on at first all I knew is that they were having trouble removing the backer board. From the safety of my bedroom I heard "I have a mini jackhammer in my truck." At this point I was frightened. Then the noise began. For 2 hours, they tried to remove the backer board. At 7:00, there was a thick layer of dust on everything in the house, and they were only able to tear up the living room, but there was grout, broken tiles and exposed nails everywhere. They hadn't even started on the family room.
This morning the contractor arrived at 9:30. I went to do school shopping and left Chuck here with the kids. I was supposed to have my carpet in today, but at 4:30 this afternoon, they had just finished removing all the backer board and hopefully tomorrow I can proceed to wash down all my walls, every window and all the objects in my house.
All I can say is this better be *^*%%#^%&^(( worth it!
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Time Flies
I was going through pictures today and came across this one of Taylor. She is 4 years old and yet it seems like yesterday. I remember taking it. Not for any particular reason other than she asked me to. I love it because it so perfectly captured who she was and who she still is. Her blue eyes sparkling. A smile ready to turn to a laugh in a heartbeat. That unexplainable glow that just radiates and effects all those around her.
She is 8 now. And there are times that I already see the teenage attitude start to come out, but mostly I still see that face. Always wanting to make others days brighter. Striving to be the best. She dances on clouds, this wonderful little girl. I am so blessed that she came into my life. Her birth saved me. She made me believe I was worth being here. I thank God everyday for sending me her Daddy and in turn bringing Taylor and Dylan into the world.
She will always be this little girl to me. When I look at her at 16, 25, 40, 60. This is the person I know I will see. For my love for her is unconditional. I am so honored that this beautiful human being carries a part of me with her always.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Movie Recommendations of the Week
Happy Thursday!
For all you working folks out there, one more day until freedom. For those of us who stay at home with munchkins and who's husbands work a really screwed up schedule, we don't know half the time what day it is. Could be Sunday. Could be two weeks from Tuesday. Who the heck knows. As you can probably tell I can't wait for school to start, if for no other reason than to bring some sense of time structure and scheduling into my life.
Well.....anyway.....Every Thursday, I will be giving some movie recommendations. Why Thursdays you maybe asking. Well I was a projectionist for about 6 years, and Thursdays were the build and tear downs for the theater. That would mean I got to stay up till all hours of the morning screening movies to make sure that I built them correctly. Every once in a while there would be a disaster, but most of the times, Thursday night/Friday morning were spent watching some good movies and also some really horrible ones (The Stupids. It lived up to its name, let me tell you.) I love movies. I loved working at the theater and being in the booth. And I can be a little bit of a movie snob at times. But I also appreciate all different kinds of film.
Last summer my husband (whom I met after I hired him as a projectionist) found a wonderful deal on a home projection system. Because it is so expensive to see movies in the theater now, not to mention that people have no consideration when watching a film in public, we wait for the movies to come out on DVD. Not a long wait anymore, but there is some lag time. Because of this we are going back and revisiting old favorites and discovering new gems. It has been great being able to show our kids special films from the past.
So that being said, every Thursday, I will be giving recommendations for movie nights. I'll break it down into age groups for everyone. I hope that they are helpful and maybe you will get reacquainted with some great films that have been forgotten.
For the whole family:
1962
For 10 years old +:
For 15 years old + :
1972
For the Grown Ups:
1946
I hope that you will take these suggestions and consider them on your next trip to the video store or when making requests online. Let me know what you think of these films. I would love to have any and all feed back. Have fun and eat some popcorn for me!
Feeling Nostalgic
I went into the grocery store today, and as I was waiting to check out, my eyes went to the magazines above the belt where my food was at a stand still while a manager did a second override. I noticed, no TV Guide. So I leaned and looked at the magazine stand beside me. No TV Guide. I finally did see one the next lane over. There it was. It was blending in. Same size as the 15 other magazines there. "Fall Preview" it said in big letters above a pouting Dr. Meredith Grey. All of a sudden, a wave of sadness came over me. I remember when the fall preview of TV Guide was an event. My mom would buy it and I would spend hours, looking at the new shows that would be starting in the fall. Planning out my evenings. Oh and the Saturday Morning Cartoon section was my favorite. They perfectly laid out what would make an 8 year old get out of bed early on a non school day.
Now there really are no television seasons. One runs into the next. With all the cable shows, there is too much to watch. There was a time last fall when 3 show I enjoyed were all on at the same time. Now, thanks to the Internet, there really is no need for the conventional way of watching TV. Kids can watch cartoons anytime they want. Not like us. When I was a kid there was maybe one hour after school and you had to rely on Saturday mornings to get your Scooby Doo fix. It is convenient, I will admit that. You miss something, there is no waiting for reruns, but jump online and keep up. But I miss those Tuesday nights of Happy Days and Laverne and Shirley. Laying on the floor with my feet propped up on the wall. A hot bowl of stove popped popcorn beside me. And the whole family setting down together and laughing at Richie and Fonzie dressed as girls not to get caught in Mary Beth's dorm room. Or later, painting my nails and watching Rosanne and realizing, "Boy these people are a lot like my parents."
There are so few "prime time" show now that I can sit down and watch with my family. I just looked at tomorrow at 8:00 pm. We won't count the Olympics, because that only comes around once every 2 years, but on ABC, CBS, Fox and CW, here is what my family has to choose from: Ugly Betty, Big Brother 10, Football, and Smallville. Now if we were more sports people, football would be great. My husband won't watch Ugly Betty and some of the content is too strong for my kids. How do you explain to a 5 year old, "Yeah that pretty lady used to be his brother."? Then there is Big Brother. Forget that. I wouldn't let my kids watch that until they were at least in high school and even then, I would like to shelter them for a while that people like that are out in the world. That leaves Smallville. Now we have watched some Smallville. I have watched all the episode, and really like the show, but my kids watch a mommy censored version of the show. There are some episodes that are too violent and some that are too suggestive. But I guess that is the closest we are going to come.
Now mind you I am as far from a prude as they come, but I guess I must just be getting old. Maybe somewhere some TV executives will be able to come up with a show that isn't going to prematurely age our children and at the same time, parents can enjoy and not wish that someone would sew their eyelids shut. I really don't think that's too much to ask.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Tuesday Morning
Happy Tuesday Everyone!
Well school is only 2 weeks away and like most parents out there, I am one excited puppy! Taylor has been so bored, and as she is starting the 3rd grade, she is an old pro at this. Dylan is less enthusiastic. He is a very theatrical little guy, and of course he is putting all his skills to good use. "No one will like me"..."The teacher will yell at me"... and my favorite "They'll lock me in a cage." I just hope that last statement isn't some kind of foreshadowing I need to worry about.
Dylan is sick today. He had a very busy weekend and when he pushes it too hard and doesn't get enough sleep, we have days like today. I truly don't think there is anything worse than when your kids are sick. He looks so small. He'll be fine after he gets more sleep, but it is still not fun.
Well as you can all tell by my profile picture, I have a weight problem. It is something I am working on, but haven't made any progress. I thought I had been heavy all my life, but I recently found a picture of when I was in college, and I wasn't heavy then. Mind you I wasn't one of those stick figured, I had a grape and now I'm full, kind of girls, but I wasn't anywhere near where I am now.
But you see, it ultimately wasn't me telling me I was fat, it was the voice of someone I trusted. My mother. I haven't had a relationship with my parents in almost 8 years now. It is a long story that I will explain at a later time, but I have come to a realization, in trying to figure out my screwed up relationship with my parents. I realize that my weight has been a way of saying to her "Oh yeah, you think I'm fat now. Just you wait and see." She told me she was embarrassed to be seen with me, because of my weight. And that was 70lbs ago. I am so tired of having her voice in my head. I think I am finally ready to stop caring about what they thought or think of me. I have to care what I think of me. I've spent 35 years trying to make other people happy. I need to make myself happy.
It is about to rain here. Thus the major introspection. But I love the rain. Everything gets a chance to come clean. I think that is needed every once in a while. Don't you?
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Please Allow Me to Introduce Myself!
Hello all you faceless masses, sitting at your computers, aimlessly searching for something to amuse you other than cats doing backflips into fish tanks.
My name is Dana. I am a 35, almost 36 year old stay at home mother of an 8 year old girl named Taylor, and a 5 year old boy named Dylan. I have a third "child" if you will. I married him 11 years ago. Chuck is his name and saving lives is his game. He is a paramedic you see.
As for me, other than the above, I am lost and stuck at the same time. We live out in rural Oregon. Chuck works 40 minutes away and we have one car. So I am stuck here in this house for days on end with children, whom I love, by the way, but at times I just want to lock in their rooms for a couple of hours to give me a second to breath. That is the stuck part.
The lost part of my equation is that, because I was an idiot in my twenties and partied the short time I was in college, instead of studying, I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. Meaning I am about 15 years behind schedule. Dylan will be starting school this year, but only half days, so I have this year to find direction. Lets just say that I am holding onto that magic compass from the "Pirate" movies and have no idea what I want, so the needle is spinning in circles so fast it is making me dizzy.
Add to all this that even though my husband saves actual human beings, he only makes $15.00 an hour. So we are barely scrapping by and he is having to get a second job. I can't work right now, because all I could get is some "you want fries with that" job and all that would do is pay daycare, if we were lucky. And to quote Ferris Bueller "It still wouldn't change the fact that I don't have a car."
So I thought that I would start this blog. Maybe challenge myself intellectually a little. Get things off my chest and hopefully get that compass arrow to slow down somewhat.
I plan on ranting about politics, current evens, movies, pop culture and life in general. And of course there will be plenty about my children and husband. So for now thank you for reading and talk to you all tomorrow.
